Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
