Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
