I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize