i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
