how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
