We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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