Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
