stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize