Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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