she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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