Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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