i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
