Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
