Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
