I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
She bit a glass in half.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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