that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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