just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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