Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
