JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
birth control should be required to get into college
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
