I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Come see our sink grown plant.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Your penis caused this!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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