I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
