Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
