Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
