I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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