I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
