I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
