Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
