apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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