STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
