I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
