that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm at about main and main street
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize