So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize