You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
