No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Randomize
