I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Randomize
