Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
