if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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