Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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