What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
