Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
