Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
don't judge my taste in strippers
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
