I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
