see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
