is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
