apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
