she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
