They should really pass out barf bags in church
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
My ATM looks so different sober.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
