I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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