how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
