Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
