I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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