i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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