Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
