We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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