Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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