I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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