If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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