Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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