Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
