Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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