We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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